End of another month

The end of January has arrived and it ends as it began. I went into hospital to have a biopsy of my womb taken as well as having something put in. I will not go into a too much detail as it's not important, but needless to say that once again I end up been in the 1% of the nation that has a problem with this thing. The idea behind it was that this Mirena thingy mi bob would help to calm down my visits from Mother Nature. So during the biopsy it was inserted and I was hopeful that this would be the miracle cure I was looking for. Oh how wrong could I be. The 1st warning that this wasn't going to plan was that before I even went into theatre they couldn't squish my vocal chords to allow the air tube to pass down without damaging them. Then the 'routine' op of 10-15 mins took 1 hour, I thought okay that's all the problems out of the way.  I was in no pain which was good,  but I had a great deal of bleeding which of course was unusual. 

After a couple of days of terrific pain from the anesthetic I began to feel hooman again, didn't last long. After 4 days I thought I would start to feel better day by day, but I had started slipping the other way. After only 4 days in work I was exhausted and very unwell, by now the pain was the most ridiculous I had ever felt. I decided that if nothing improved over the weekend I would head for the GP. As predicted nothing changed if anything it was getting worse, both pain and bleeding, time to see the Doc.  As soon as I explained the problem to the doc she said that the Mirena needed to come out after only 12 days, meant to be in 5 years. It didn't need to be removed it had removed itself, which was why I was in such pain. Within 2 hours the pain had eased. My GP is now concerned that the implant may have caused damage to one of the fibroids in my womb, this will now need further investigation once my results from the biopsy are back. A hysterectomy is still on the cards as a non emergency procedure as this could be the only way to stop me from becoming very poorly from anemia.

As a result of all this faffing about I have managed 1 run 1 bike ride a definitely no swimming because of the risk of infection. However, I am now feeling 100% better and ready to get back out there. My triathlon ambition is still a go and I am ready to go for it. I am also signing up for the GNR again, I just cannot help myself it's addictive.

Over the last two months we have struggled to come to terms with many things. But the support and love from friends and family near and far have kept us going. Not just over the last few months but in the last 13 years. A very special friend said this week that little gestures are few and far between these days. These gestures are the most lovely, they mean that people care, and they may not see you everyday but they are always there, a text, a message, some flowers all mean 'I'm thinking about you'.

Have good and safe weekend and start the next week like you mean business. Catcha on the flipside peeps.

What a nightmare.

I began my Jantastic challenge with gusto, I knew I could fit in at least 30 mins each day without too much hassle even with an impending operation. However my operation date came through with only 10 days notice, which shook me a bit as I was told I would have 3 weeks notice. The advantage was that at least it would be at my local hospital rather than the main ones in Leeds. I managed to get some running and cycling in before I went into hospital as I knew that I would be out of action for at least 48hrs. I thought it was amusing when I was told at my pre-med that I would be given a 2 week sick note. I was in hospital on the Friday and wouldn't need to be back in until Tuesday, plenty of time. Well after the first 4 days I knew I was in no fit state to go in to work, by the end of this week I really felt like I should have taken the sick note. It amazes me that what I thought was something simple and routine turned out a bit different for me, as is usually the bloody case. This was meant to be my final appointment to try and work out if the cancer marker was coming from my womb. This started straight away with what was supposed to be a 20min operation turning into an hour. However I was feeling fine when I came round not in any pain as I was told I would feel, so I was well happy. Apart from feeling a bit wobbly and sleepy I was discharged with the promise to rest up. This is one of the more difficult things, when I feel fine it's hard to understand why I needed to rest, but I did rest more than normal. The following morning the pain began, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. My whole torso from my neck to hips was reducing me to tears, my throat was so sore I couldn't swallow the pain killers so I had to put up with it. I now didn't have a choice but to rest. This pain continued for 3 more days, but at least now I could take something for it, but tomorrow I need to go to work. I knew I wasn't well enough for work I was struggling to stand upright because of the pain, I managed to get through my shift but was so glad to get home for an early night. I was surprised that the following day I was pain free, but by the afternoon it was creeping back up on me. It seemed to be getting better day by day so I would get to the end of the week. I'm on Saturday now and have paid the penalty for working through it.

I am wanting to enter my first triathlon this year,  I have found one in April but as I am unable to do an sport at the moment I cannot decide if this would be beyond foolish to attempt. I literally am taking each day as it arrives with the pain scale, I am getting so many complications  that are related to the operation that I am totally fed up when I get something new.
I am wanting to try and get out this week either a little run or bike. But I'm not going to push myself in any way shape or form, anyone who knows me will know this is a complete contradiction of my normal self.

This week I have purchased the 5 weeks to no sugar book by Davina Mccall, I needed more ideas for healthy low sugar recipes. I have tried a couple from the book and I am very happy with them.  Was quite pleased that on inspection at the foods I eat normally I didn't overdo the sugar. My problem was simple I like chocolate and crisps, don't misunderstand me I don't eat either of these in bulk either by day or quantity. But whoever thought that putting a resealable sticker on the packet to save choc for later was an idiot. So to find an alternative in any shape other than carrot sticks can only be good, I do like carrot but as it doesn't come in Galaxy flavour sometimes it just doesn't cut the mustard.
It is also an interesting experiment with my youngest Son who has a sweet tooth to see if he enjoys the sugar free varieties of food, so far he has gladly eaten all in front of him. So the food tasting will continue. Hopefully the recovery of a broken body will be returned to me soon.

Into January we go.

We had a quiet Christmas with probably too much food and booze,  although the latter was probably less than it felt. As I was unable to take part with the advent streak due to the mounts of GP and hospital visits that I had during December. I was feeling on a bit of a downer as it was something I really wanted to do. But I did manage to get out on Christmas Day morning, donned my Santa suit armed with my helper (hubby on his bike) we set off to fulfill our charity commitment. It was a great feeling to be out again and having lots of smiles, beeps and waves was just what I needed.  On Christmas eve I got my 2nd all clear for bowel cancer this time, although I had a polyp removed it was harmless, other than causing me problems.  I have been in pain since which I was surprised at, but as I have been on holiday over the Christmas period so I have taken more care about the affects the food I eat has on my body.  I have discovered triggers that I sort of knew were there, but confirmed them to myself after eating them.  I have one more investigation to go through which will happen in 12 days time, this one is to test the 3 polyps I have in my womb.
As I couldn't take part in the advent streak I have decided to take part in Jantastic. Which is to have at least 30 mins exercise everyday during January,  but it does continue into February and March. It officially begins on the 5th of January but I have started from the 1st. I have committed to 3 runs per week as well as 1 long distance bike ride, as well as swimming once a week. The reason I have taken the swimming on is because I am eyeing up my first triathlon in April. This is a monumental challenge for me, but one I have wanted to do for a while. During January I will concentrate on each activity trying to build up my strength. During February I will begin to bring them together so I can achieve the distances and also to grade my time scale.
As my jantastic challenge means I can do any activity I feel like for 30 mins, so at least I won't need to begin dropping days during hospital admissions and visits. Yoga is my new thing, well new isn't quite true as I first started yoga when I used the wii for my aerobics at home. I use youtube now and follow a lovely lady called Adrienne she sets out really simple routines that are injury free. 
So as of tomorrow I am out and about again, I am unsure of my entry to the GNR this year I will wait for the costing from my charity as the normal ballot fee has gone up by £13 which may not sound a lot. But unless you are at the front (which I am not) the chances of you gaining a personal best is slim, yes the atmosphere is unbelievable and it is the biggest half marathon in the world. But maybe after having a very serious injury after the GNR if it's worth risking it again. If I can achieve a triathlon and don't have many too bad after effects then I may take on the GNR, time will tell.

Behave yourselves during this month, don't do anything that makes you unhappy, be as bright as the frosty blue sky mornings.

Merry Christmas

Well it's been very stressful to say the least. Dealing with the wait for results, coping with the pain still, not knowing...not wanting to know, finding out that someone I thought of as a friend thought I was making all this up. That really pissed me off, as these are real serious threats to my health I felt I had to justify myself by clearly stating that my GP was the one that reacted quickly to my initial marker. I am carrying on in complete agony, I am taking medication for my anxiety and depression caused by the chronic symptoms that I have. Having to talk to my children and my Mum to explain that I have had the cancer marker show up, is not something I would wish on anyone. To look at my grandchildren and pray that my prayers would be answered. So someone thought I was making this shit up, be in my shoes at that point. I know through this experience who will be there if I ever needed them, and to them I say thank you.
So after a 3 week wait I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't receive my results until after Christmas. I really wanted to know so we could take Christmas on the chin, but I also didn't want to know as I was terrified of having bad news. But Christmas eve I got a letter from the hospital saying that my results were now with my GP and I would now receive an appointment from my consultant to discuss my results. I decided to ring my GP to find out the results. When I got the call back I was so scared this could change the course of 2015 dramatically. YES TOTALLY BENIGN, good grief I was in shock, it took a while for it to sink in but yes 2nd cancer scare over and done with. I still have a 3rd one to deal with as the polyps in my womb could be the thing that is giving me the original marker for cancer, at the moment the marker is stable. This procedure will take place in the new year, but at least I won't need to wait for the results for that as they will examine the biopsies immediately.

Today is Christmas day and I have not been in the running groove at all, but today is virtual running day for charity. So Santa suit on, runners on, time to hit the pavement. My husband got his bike out and rode alongside me,  it was a lovely blue sky cold day but a bit windy. We completed our distance and did the santa selfie with our medals in hands.
Spending time with the family for dinner, relaxing afterwards with my hubby. Christmas day is done and dusted, my 1st run in 3 weeks is done, so it's onwards into 2015 hopefully my all clears will be 3 in a row. I know that for so many people these all clears don't happen, as I know only too well. I never take for granted good health or choices, I am dedicated to raising awareness of the dreadful disease, I do for charity as I can. One day the all clears will out number the 'I'm sorry' and in the meantime I will remain forever grateful to those who sent me messages wishing me well.

I wish you a very merry Christmas and a safe and well 2015. Catcha on the flipside.

May as well do this now.

Never thought a day would come where my mojo for running would completely leave me. I can't really put my finger on it either, I am waiting results coming back at the moment, this is really playing on my mind. My every waking thought is negative and not future positive, I cannot wait to be home whenever I go out, I feel like I am lying to people's faces when they ask how I am and the words are so routine "I'm doing great thanks, how are you ?". I feel it unnecessary to worry many more people with a nothing at the moment, when we have no answers yet ourselves. I thought knowing that there was a problem was stressful but this feels worse completely in hiatus, paused.
The pain is just as bad as before, which I didn't expect. I thought by having this thing removed that my pain at least would subside, but this appears not to have happened. So my running has taken a dip as well as other aspects of motivation.

At least my running hiatus means I can get round to other jobs like getting the Christmas decorations up, spending more time with those I love. We also have new little pets, who don't seem too put off by their home representing a disco. Our rabbits have settled in nicely, one of them has a definite taste for wallpaper and the other one likes to pretend he has no concept of jumping. We are looking forward to Christmas it's a special time for us, as we get to spend lots of time together as a family. No rushing around just rest and lots of food and probably too much booze and lots of Christmas movies. I hope we have our results before the festive period at least then we will know what the New Year will mean for us, as a family.

Enjoy the weekend all, keep wrapped up warm.

Not a good start really

After the Santa run on Sunday I was ready and raring to go on the advent streak. However, I ended up with hospital visits to 2 hospitals on the 1st day, 1 very hastily arranged. 

Day 2 I did manage to get out for a very short run, the air was biting and the cold air does not agree with my VCD at all. But it felt good to be back on my normal route. 

Day 3 now this is where it gets complicated, I am due to have a minor operation on Thursday so I need to be on a very strict diet of not alot.  My energy levels are not good and over the next 48hrs I will be completely off of running. The outcome of this op may well dictate where and how I move forwards. If not I still have one more op to go through which should also settle things down for me.
Running has been a huge part of me for a long time, it does feel odd not to be out there as much, but I have to listen to my body sometimes. I am a firm believer in that when you are at 110% your body shuts down to enable recovery. I have over recent months listened to this signal, I rest as much as possible over my days off and take joy in having a sofa day. We live such busy lives these days that sometimes we forget that we need to recharge the batteries. For me sometimes running is my recharge and without it I feel lethargic and frustrated, but the last month has taught me that maybe sometimes other things need to be done first and my running will wait a day.

Day 4 was as expected never going to happen. I am scheduled to have a colonoscopy done so I have needed to take 'cleaning fluid' all I am going to say on this matter is, whoever invented that stuff is in league with the devil.

Day 5, absolutely wiped out today, my procedure is late afternoon so I am just trying to pass the time without thinking about food. I end up spending 5 hours in the hospital, in a huge amount of discomfort but able to leave quickly as i received very little in the way of pain relief....not on my request I hasten to add....there's another story. I really don't know if I will run this weekend I will see how my energy levels are, at the moment the small things are knocking me a bit. I am still in a little pain like before but hopefully this will calm down quickly. Now I have the wait to see what the results of the biopsy are. Again I will remain positive, I have to, at the moment we know that they have removed something that was causing a problem, it's whether that thing is more of the problem than 1st predictions thought.

Enjoy your weekends one and all.

How to begin

Today my brilliant little Grandson and myself took part in the Skipton Santa 5km Run. It's the first time that Leo has taken on this kind of distance and at 6 years old it's a big distance to cover. It's also the first time in two weeks that I have been out for a run. It's been a very difficult two weeks and today is important, it's a blue sky, sunny day making you happy and grateful for the chance to be here.
It's our first time in Skipton and we are loving seeing lots of Santa's around us it's busy and friendly. We see many people that we know and everyone is smiling. We move into our place with the joggers, lots of kids around which is great to see. Just before 11 the runners are underway the countdown 3-2-1 GO with a huge cheer from the remaining Santa's the run begins. Leo and me make our way to the start, we begin our jog downhill around the left hander to go uphill, we look ahead and see Santa's we look behind us and see Santa's it's an incredible view. We are reduced to walking as all these Santa's cannot fit through a gap. Once we are through the gap we have a clear run down into the lovely town of Skipton. We head for the canal towpath we hit more congestion of Santa's we enjoy the walk along the canal and the lovely views. As we cross over the bridge of the river the Santa's spread out and we run back down into Skipton. We run in and out of narrow roads and shopping precinct with the shoppers cheering us on. We drop back down onto the canal towpath towards our finishing straight. Lots of people are along the towpath lending their support by clapping and cheering ALL the Santa's big and small. As we cross the canal bridge and head back into Airville Park a run uphill is all that's left for this brilliant little 6 year old. We see the finish banner and of course we sprint finish. With his medal proudly around his neck Leo completed his 1st 5km run. I am imennsley proud of the achievement that Leo made today he ran where and when he could, he chatted the whole way round and enjoyed it, the smile on his face when he finished showed how much he loved it.

Tomorrow begins my personal challenge of a 31 day run streak. It will be a monumental challenge for me after the last couple of weeks, but I am determined to do this. It is about saying I got past that bit by the skin of my teeth, with a way to go yet, I still want to ring the neck of the past 2 weeks. This challenge will see me do that.
It's difficult to explain how running helps me to escape some days but it couldn't and wouldn't have helped with jack,  when you are told that cancer cells have shown up in a  blood sample, it tends to make you sit back and say.....wow.....or in my way....shit. I am so lucky that I have friends and family around me that I needed to tell and they wouldn't fall apart, right now I needed their strength and positive. I wanted them to treat me exactly the way they had 24hrs earlier. It took only 10 days for the doctors and specialists to decide that I am out of danger from the cancer that had showed up, however I will be routinely checked up on to make sure the count remains stable. I was immediately banned by my kids from running and cycling, which as it happens I didn't have time to go anyway. They won't be happy when they find out about this either, it will mean me more vigilant than ever about the signals that my body will be giving out.

So I shall attempt to do a daily blog, however it could get very boring and repetitive but I shall try and snazzy it up a bit if I can.
Ta muchly for taking the time to read this drivel.